Good morning. It’s Thursday, the ides of March 2018, and the trade wars are just about at hand.  President DJT has China panting into the swell and pucker of their own takeout bags after threatening to tax the motherfuckers like 25% on all imports. Hahahaha. What could this mean? Steel boycotts? Price hikes on counterfeit J’s? No more free fortune cookies? Nasty.

Wall Street is answering this morning by sort of rolling their eyes and shrugging shoulders. Who knows, maybe they haven’t had their coffee yet. Either that or we really are living in the American arcade economy I’ve been dreaming of since just after 9/11. God damn I love the energy of a callous market.

Dow opens up this morning, snapping from the anemia of a real gun-shy trading week. Up 100 points to nearly 24,900 right off the bell.

Winners this morning: 3-D Systems(DDD) up 10%, Williams Sonoma (WSM) up nearly 2 points, Barnes & Noble (BKS) up to five bucks a share. Blue Apron (APRN) kicking ass this morning after announcing a retail hookup with in-store grocer chains. Good move dummies. I’ve always said they need to leave the online shopping for hand guns and PajamaGrams; no one wants their free-range eggs and farro salad coming to them in a banker’s box.

Boeing (BA) might be getting the worst of this new tariff threat, taking losses this week, dumping nearly 25 points and barely hanging on at $320 a share. If it were Monday, I’d say open yourself a sizeable margin account and short these jackasses but hindsight is 20/20. They seem to be rattling around where they are and may even tick up like ten bucks by close so I’m not going to call it.

Best-for-last-news: The Senate is taking their fucking hands off our banking institutions and rolling over Dodd-Frank. If you remember this was the 2010 stunt legislation that did exactly zero to put the curb on derivatives and succeeded only in crippling banks, crippling lending, crippling credit. Good riddance. Maybe now regional banks will have the wherewithal to write a decent mortgage again and we can put the housing market back on its feet.

The market is still biting its nails over the whole thing this morning. Regional banks coming out flush. PNC (PNC) down a hair, US Bank (USB) up next to nothing, KeyCorp (KEY) at 0. Grow a pair.

I’ll leave you with this:

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