The Reign of Terror has come upon us, otherwise known as Coachella Season.
Isn’t it, like, so life changing?
Aren’t you #stoked to just, like, bask in the ~*~ambiance~*~?
And of course you will find your soulmate and he will, like, totally fulfill your wildest horoscope dreams.
Yes, indeed, fair friends. ‘Tis time to bust out your floral frocks and flash tats, your space buns and your floppy hats. ‘Tis time to roll. ‘Tis time to embrace your inner basic bitch, frolic in the dust bowl Southern California mountains and welcome the STD’s as they are, truly, medals of honor, symbolizing your commitment to free love.
Coachella is known for some ridiculous fashion trends, well covered by Glamour, Cosmopolitan and even Mercury News. Everything from fanny-packs to mirrored metallic shirts to bikinis to fringe to straight up Count Dracula capes to good old fashioned nakey-nakey Nancy…it’s exhausting and (not) exhaustive and excruciating.
I’m not here to tell you what to wear. That’s what your girl squad is for. I’m not here to judge your obscene uses of flowers and seashells. Man was given dominion over the natural world after all. I’m not here to poo-poo on Coachella. I’m sure it will be super transformative and literally change your life.
So, do what makes you feel beautiful, I guess…and what will get you the most hits on your various social media platforms. That’s what all this is about anyway, right?
Good vibes only, fam. Good vibes only.