Take Me Back

It’s the end of summer which means the beginning of take me back season or, as I like to call it, Basic Bitches Get More Basic Szn. Yes. Szn.

 

Your various social media feeds will now feature an endless stream of Basic Bitch #1 in her up-the-ass bikini or Basic Bitch #2 clutching an umbrella-d margarita and/or the arm of a hunky summer fling, paired with one of these captions (or a variation thereof):

 

1- “OMG take me back! #friendshipgoals”

 

2- “OMG living my best life *crying emojii*”

 

3- “**quote about sunshine, good vibes, sisterhood, usually something country-music-y”

 

And, now that Mercury is no longer in retrograde, there’s really no excuse for this type of bad behavior. Put it away. Put it away, girls. Stop making us look bad. We have enough problems as it is with, you know, equal pay and gluten and breast implant illness that is apparently now a thing – like, we can’t even quell our innermost body insecurities without the potential of getting deathly ill?! WHY CRUEL WORLD, TO BE A WOMAN IS TO LOSE.

 

Anyway.

 

This is a warning. Delete your social media unless you want to spontaneously combust into a pumpkin spiced cesspool of hate against 49.6% of the population.

 

Summer 2K18 forever!!!

 

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